Some advice and wise mind

20) What is some of the best advice you have ever received?

On my first day of college my adviser said to us, “Don’t worry about what you say. Everyone else is as concerned with what they have to say, so no one is as focused on you as you think. Don’t be afraid to speak.” Continue reading “Some advice and wise mind”

The chaos of daily emotions and good news

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My moods run the gamut of the emotional spectrum pretty much every day. Yesterday I went from extremely happy and calm to anxious and sad, to feeling suicidal and self-harm prone, and this was simply because┬ásomeone said something mildly negative. It rewrote my whole story of self. My sense of self is tenuous at best. Some days it is more solidified than others but it doesn’t take much to unravel. When I first started reading about BPD, lack of sense of self was one of the diagnostic criteria that surprised me the most and eventually made the most sense. I would say most of the time I have a sense of self but all it takes is one uncomfortable situation and I start to question everything. Like yesterday I was convinced that I was in a positive place, that what I was doing was useful and well done, and then one line of text made everything I had believed true a minute before, completely false. Continue reading “The chaos of daily emotions and good news”

Video games, agoraphobia, recovery

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The Overwatch Crew

I’ve played video games since I was a kid, but I’ve played MMORPGs since 2007. Through them I met lots of friends and (ta da!) even my Husband. The wonderful thing about online gaming for someone with my issues is that it allows a serious sense of community and activity without actually having to go out and socialize, which is often too difficult for me to manage. For a long time after my suicide attempt I didn’t really know how to interact with people. How do you walk around in a back brace unable to explain honestly how you hurt yourself? I told a few people but not many. Continue reading “Video games, agoraphobia, recovery”