I am on a very normal sleep schedule, which is weird. I haven’t been able to sleep past 7 in weeks and I go to bed by midnight usually. Lately I’ve been waking up at 5 or 6. I love the early morning hours. My brain is awake, I feel creative, I feel like there is possibility to the day but I have time to collect myself before I have to do anything. This is the time when I do most of my writing. It feels clear and fresh. I will say that I am so tired by the end of the day that it’s hard to stay up until a reasonable bedtime. Last night was about six hours of sleep, which is fine. I should get more but I don’t need to be awake for anything serious today, just fun stuff. This is a departure from my depressive episodes when I sleep constantly. Even last week when I was sick I sunk into days of sleep just to get through it.
This morning I’m going to take my math placement exam up at school to see which math class I need to take. I’m honestly not sure how I’m going to do on this but whatever the result, I’ll be in the appropriate math class. I have to keep telling myself not to rush it: I’m going to school to learn not to catch up to something I haven’t learned yet. Granted I’d rather not have to take basic mathematics but if I do, that’s ok since it’s been over 10 years since I did real math.
Tonight I’m going to be social and see a great friend who I haven’t seen in months! I was a lame friend for a long time. I’ve been hiding since July, except for a couple of important events. I had no desire to be around people, to leave the house, to do anything in particular. I’m not in that headspace any more. I want to go do things, see people, be a real person. I’ve been checking things off my list that I’ve put off for a long time. I got a haircut, went to the Dr. for long overdue blood tests, dealt with school stuff, registered for classes (though who knows if I will stay in them).
So my school has implemented a sexual assault awareness campaign, though I forget the official name. They were in the news for a while because of a well publicized rape case that a student decided to make a very visual protest about since she was upset about the treatment she received. I have a feeling that that is related to the initiative from the President’s office. What this means practically is that all incoming students have to take an online tutorial about sexual violence, how to recognize and prevent it, among other things. The two required tutorials took about 45 minutes to get through and were not at all news to me, but that’s likely because I’m 31 and educated about this. I was annoyed that I had to do it but I stepped back and thought about the 17 and 18 year old kids who have to take it too. For them it IS important and new information. The more it’s hammered into their heads the better. (Like how to recognize when someone is too drunk to say yes.) My annoyance was replaced by admiration for the work they’re putting into making the community a safer place. It’s about time that schools put a spotlight on these issues since they’ve become so prevalent and dangerous in recent history.
This song has been stuck in my head for at least a week: Solid Wall of Sound by a Tribe Called Quest.
I got 18/20 on my placement exam! I’m not terrible at math! This means I’m appropriately registered for the correct math class (basically pre-calc) and get to start on Wednesday. All the studying I’ve done over the last couple weeks was invaluable. If I hadn’t been working as hard as I’ve been, there’s no way that I would have passed that exam. At Christmas I couldn’t have done that placement.
It’s very gratifying to do some work and see a concrete result, especially in a topic that I haven’t broached in so long. I am also glad I went and took the test early this morning so I could get it out of the way and spend the rest of the weekend relaxing and getting ready for the semester to start. I get to go out to dinner tonight, see a good friend, hang out with Husband and other friends over the weekend…it’ll be nice and chill.