Thank you, for being a guiding light through some of the hardest years we’ve faced as a country. Thank you for being wise and patient, courageous and determined. You have been a beacon of freedom, a symbol for the rest of the world to follow, an inspiration. Oh my god. Please don’t go. We could not possibly be undergoing a weirder swap of personalities. Going from Clinton to Bush was strange enough but Obama to Trump is like an episode of Stranger Things. Poor Beth. But now we’re all Beth, going to live in the Upside Down. The one upside to this whole thing is that they finally took down a huge Trump billboard outside my window, so I don’t have to be reminded every day that this real estate agent has become our President. I am not shy about my dislike for Trump. I don’t think anything about him says “President,” in fact the opposite. Obama screamed President: he was a lawyer, middle-aged, career volunteer, activist, honored member of the Harvard Law Review, I mean…the list goes on. Trump “should have won an Emmy.” Amiright?
Luckily we do have some checks and balances in place. Republicans seem to be walking back from their choice in some ways. Everything might not be as bad as I think it will be, I’ve been very wrong before. It’s just difficult to switch from a President that commands respect, who embodies dignity and humility and swag, to Donald Trump. Trump has no swag.
I am angsty. I want to be in a class already, for the term to have already begun. Between now and then I have to sit through two tests, one that I already know I’m not going to pass. I want to be doing something, so I’ve been studying. There’s only so much I feel like I can cram though in a day. What I’ve already re-learned will have to be enough.
I’ve wanted to write but I didn’t know what to write about. Yesterday was a wash. I was so tired and boring. Husband finally got home after a super delayed flight late last night. We are now on two very, very different sleep schedules. I can’t wake up any later than 7 for some reason, and he’s now going to be on West Coast time for a while. We may never see each other.
I recently watched an episode of SVU called “Heightened Emotions.” The episode begins with a woman (the one in the robe above) running as fast as she can on a treadmill with a somewhat crazed look on her face. Her husband comes in and tries to get her to stop but she’s determined to go “one more mile.” I don’t know whether my sensitivity to the subject is just heightened but I instantly knew that they were trying to portray someone with Bipolar Disorder. There was something in the incredibly overt intensity that the actress portrayed that screamed Hollywood “mania” to me. I feel like mania is much more fun to act out and tends to get a lot of attention in TVshows and movies. Excess energy, promiscuity, psychosis, fast talking, fast spending, impulsivity, less appetite, less need for sleep, a tendency to use drugs and alcohol in excess…all of this adds up to a dynamic whirlwind of a character arc. It also leaves out the other half of the disorder, the boring depression part. No one wants to watch a character that’s just massively depressed and unable to function. It would be a montage that led to some dramatic change in that person’s life, not a story. And that’s fair. Depression doesn’t feel like a story, it’s not glamorous, it’s not particularly interesting. It is its name in the literal sense: the world is depressed, lowered, the pigment has been drained. So when the media needs to show BP, they pick mania because it’s easier, shinier. This also makes it easier to pre-diagnose characters on TV when they crop up.