This week has been super weird. I was so uncomfortable. Today I feel worlds better than I have in days. It’s like being stuck in a vortex and suddenly ripped out, the world slowing to its normal pace. It was like my brain was tuned to static and eventually the regular programming decided to come back on. I may have had a fever actually, but either way I’ve been there before. These mood swings are not exactly predictable but once they start they are recognizable. I’m still stretching my brain and haven’t been terribly productive, but my focus is better. I finally gave in to myself and didn’t try to do anything beyond watch TV and that seemed to help. No expectations, lower activity, and I was able to help my brain reboot. Now I don’t want to scratch my brain out, it doesn’t feel itchy, and I can think about things for more than five minutes.
It’s snowing and beautiful outside, but I don’t want to go play in this snow. NYC snow turns to grey mush in the drop of a hat, so there’s very little winter wonderland and more like “I hope my socks stay dry.” These are the days I always hated riding the subway, because you’re super bundled up from being outside but very often the trains are stifling. Oh New York, you’re so wonderful and annoying.
In other news, Carrie Fisher was placed in an urn that looks like a Prozac pill. From what the story says it doesn’t seem like that was intended to be an urn but her family improvised, in delightfully appropriate style. I’ve been playing a cute Star Wars game, but every time I run into Leia I tear up. She’s just been such an iconic presence in my life that it’s hard to believe she’s really gone.